It finally happened. I showed up for training at 7 am on a Saturday, feeling like something was not quite right but not really sure what it was. I wasn’t sick. I wasn’t particularly tired, either. In fact, I’d slept well the night before. I had been running 4-5 miles most days of the week on top of my regular training, and doing my regular routine, not eating anything I shouldn’t. But it happened.
My body, for whatever reason, just wouldn’t do it. I wasn’t gassing out or anything like that. It was like the feeling of hitting a wall – and I know in large part it was in my head. I felt ashamed. I pushed through that day and did the work, and I’m glad I did. But the next day I decided to do what turned out to be the best decision for me in the long run. I called my trainer and said, “coach, I’m taking a little trip.” And that same day I put Casey (my 2-year-old bulldog) in the car and drove out to Lake Havasu.
Permission to Let Go
I didn’t have any particular plan. I just have a friend there and accepted his invitation. I stayed two days and kept driving. I ended up exploring a little bit of the desert, stayed in a few motels, met some cool people. But all of that is secondary to my real point, which is that I did not train for a solid week. I slept late, I ate some good Mexican food, I fucked around and got lost. And I loved every minute of it. But it was also really hard.
It was hard for me to push back against that nagging thought that I should be in the gym, that I’m getting behind, that I’m losing time, and this and that. I ended up calling my coach on day three and he reassured me “Ian, you need this.” I did need this. Psychologically, more than anything.
A Bit of Life Balance
As fighters, we try to be tough all the time, because to be the best you really have to do that. But there is a time and a place for rest, and it’s not about just “relaxing” or slacking off. There’s a time when you have to pause and reflect on what you’re doing in life and give your mind and your body a chance to just breathe and say, okay I’m here. I’m doing right, and I’m just taking a little time to soak it all in. Because in the end, we only have one life, and there is more to life than fighting – as strange as it feels to say that.
Push winning out of your mind. Breathe. Contemplate the Universe. If anything, it’s the perfect opportunity to remind yourself of what you truly want out of life. If being a fighter is still the answer, you know you’re on the right path. It’s the most valuable thing you can do.
Don’t get me wrong. Becoming a champion is everything to me. But I don’t put it above God, and my mission on Earth, and I hope to never put it above the family I may one day have. So my advice, for whatever it’s worth, is to give yourself permission to take a break once in a while. Push training out of your mind, even just for a few days. Push winning out of your mind. Breathe. Contemplate the Universe. If anything, it’s the perfect opportunity to remind yourself of what you truly want out of life. If being a fighter is still the answer, you know you’re on the right path. It’s the most valuable thing you can do.
My week in the desert reminded me just how much I have to be grateful for, and when I came back home I hit it hard on day one. And this time, my body and my mind both showed up to do the work. That week’s break was just what I needed to push through. I think I’ll do it again in six months.
By Ian Rhodes